HOW TO USE EMOTIONS FOR BETTER OUTCOMES

The word emotion comes from the Latin emovere, meaning to disturb. And disturb they do.

Take frustration, for example. I know I’m in its grip when my language turns R-rated, all thanks to a so-called form-friendly application that spins into the wheel of death—only to ask an impossible question.

At that moment, logic and literacy blur. I can’t see the wood for the trees. My emotions hijack my thinking, and before I know it, I’ve gone from stimulus to reaction at lightning speed.

My emotions are doing their job—disturbing me.

Space Between Stimulus and Response

Victor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, offers a profound insight into emotions. He doesn’t tell us to control them but to listen to them—to understand the disturbance.

“Between stimulus and response is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Wise words from a man who survived the horrors of Nazi concentration camps and went on to fulfill his passion for psychiatry.

Emotions Are Data, Not Directions

Our emotions don’t dictate our actions—they inform them. A mentally fit person feels and acknowledges emotions without reacting impulsively. Instead of immediate action, they create space.

While emotions come in many forms, I believe we cycle through four core ones daily. They exist on a scale—neutral to grief-stricken, calm to ecstatic.

Here are some common emotional triggers. How would you instinctively respond?

• Student Family Life: A student returns to a dysfunctional home → Sorrow

• Student Success: A student finally grasps a difficult concept → Joy

• Lack of Preparedness: Students arrive unprepared for class → Anger

• Public Speaking: You’re asked to present to your peers → Fear

In that space Victor Frankl describes, we have a choice. Will our response be helpful or harmful—to ourselves and others?

• Joy is easy. We smile, congratulate, and celebrate. We strive for joy.

• Sorrow reminds us that to be sad means we have loved.

• Fear is our brain’s fight, flight, or freeze response, designed to protect us.

• Anger signals when our values or principles are being challenged.

The question is: What choices can we make to prevent these emotions from fuelling unnecessary conflict or stress?

The Power of Curiosity

Curiosity creates space. Instead of reacting impulsively, we ask questions. We seek to understand the root of our emotions and explore how we can influence a situation positively.

Applying Curiosity to Emotional Triggers

• Student Family Life → Sorrow Why is their home life dysfunctional? This situation stems from a series of past choices I cannot change. But I can be the best educator for this student while they’re in my classroom. I acknowledge the sorrow, but I don’t carry it into my world.

• Student Success → Joy Why is this a milestone? This student has pushed through barriers and finally tasted success. That deserves recognition and encouragement. This is why I teach.

  
  

• Lack of Preparedness → Anger Why are they unprepared? Maybe they lack resources or support. If I can create a system that removes these barriers, I empower them to succeed—and I remove my own frustration in the process.

  
  

• Public Speaking → Fear Why am I afraid? Fear of judgment, imposter syndrome. But if I’ve been asked to speak, it means others believe I have something valuable to share. My peers will support me. With a bit of preparation and help, I can do this.

Emotions as a Tool for Growth

Space, choice, and curiosity transform emotions from roadblocks into opportunities. When emotions disturb you, ask:

👉 Am I using my emotions as data or as a directive?

The choice is yours.